


Broadway Here I Come-Songfic

by Depressing_stormcloud (ham_trash)



Category: Smash (TV), Songfic - Fandom
Genre: Sad, Self-Harm, Songfic, Suicide, only a mention of though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 13:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10439157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ham_trash/pseuds/Depressing_stormcloud
Summary: THIS IS SADWARNING!!!!!!!!!PLEASE be careful it does reference suicide and self harm and such so please just know that that is what this is about and know yourself.





	

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS SAD  
> WARNING!!!!!!!!!  
> PLEASE be careful it does reference suicide and self harm and such so please just know that that is what this is about and know yourself.

/I’m high above the city  
I’m standing on the ledge/

She stare at the phone in front of her. The photos, the comments, the texts coming through.  
“They don’t really care about you they never have. Never will” she says this to herself, trying to make sense of why people were trying to help her. She didn’t need help, she needed someone to save her from her own self. Not the people out in the world that hadn’t done anything to her. She considered the pills sitting on the counter above her.  
“Take a few, forget about everything, no one would care. Would they?” she contemplates this as she grabs the bottle and walks to the door leading to the roof of her apartment. She thinks back to the post, why had she been so stupid. She should have never posted the poem, she should have never shown her true self. Not to the world, not to anyone. 

/The view from here is pretty/

She reaches the roof and looks across the busy city that always seemed to swallow her up and drown her. She looked at the people with their less shitty lives and their will to go outside and not be afraid of their own mind that is contemplating making the split decision to jump out in front of a car and end itself, to provide an excuse for the fucked up way her brain works. 

/and I step off the edge/

The pills are heavy in her hand with the weight of what she was about to do, and this time, her friends were not going to be able to distract her from the turmoil storming inside her. From the want to inflict pain, from the pleasure it supplied her.

/And now I’m fallin’ baby through the sky, through the sky,  
I’m fallin’ baby through the sky/

She floats for only a moment before what she is doing has actually settled in.

/It’s my calling baby don't you cry don't you cry  
I'm falling down through the sky/

As everything drifts and turns she wonders if anything mattered anyway.  
Towards the street that I'm from

/Oh, Broadway here I come  
Broadway here I come/

Home was never a home she could trust because she couldn’t tell anyone. No one could know her secret. Not even the ones she loved, especially not them.

/The pressure it increases  
The closer that I get  
I could almost go to pieces  
But I’m not quite there yet/

She feels the weight hitting her that  
“This is actually happening, it will all be over soon.” a haze clouds her vision and she think of all the bullshit that she’s been through. She could have done so much better.

/See I’ve been braving crazy weather  
Drowning out my cries  
I pull myself together  
I'm focused on the prize/

Her story will not be one of pity or self suffering it will be one of power and change and the failure of society to make her question everything she ever thought or felt. Society was a bitch. But it didn’t do this to her, she did. chemistry did. She knew that she should be able to trust people but the fear of being burned, the fear of losing a part of herself was there and telling her to close herself off and only show them the things that they wanted to see. 

/And it's a tune you can hum  
Oh, Broadway here I come/

She hums the lullaby that she heard as a child, finding comfort in the familiar melody as she slipped farther and farther into darkness.

/Will I remain the same  
Or will I change a little bit?/

She wonders if this will be brushed over, never thought of again.  
“Will anyone care? Anyone at all?”

/Will I feel broken or totally complete?  
Will I retain my name when I'm the biggest, hugest hit?  
Or will I blend in with the rest of the street/

She will get brushed aside, she decides, because this does not warrant the attention of people, not when it was her own fault.

/The people all are pointing  
I bet they'd never guess  
That the saint that they're anointing  
Is frightened of the mess/

She slips deeper into the blackness that started the entire issue on the first place, the overwhelming feelings of nothing will go right  
“You fuck everything up, why do you screw everything up you don't deserve the life your were given so many others deserve to live” she believes herself too because the truth of what she is saying she could, and would argue over and over again. She didn't deserve it, life, she didn't understand why she was still here. 

/But even though I fear it  
I'm playing all my cards…/

She looks down again, heavy hand, contemplating what the affects will be. What chain of events that she will set off.

/Baby, you are gonna hear it  
When I give them my regards/

The poem will be her final message to the world. The last stanza a song. The last words of her legacy, a legacy she didn't deserve,

/And I refuse to go numb/

Everything hits at once like a freight train and she steps to the edge of the building looking out over the city that never do anything for her, but never against her either.

/And the last thing I hear  
As the impact grows near  
Is it a scream or a cheer?/

She faintly hears voices getting closer saying her name but she pushes it away and focuses on what she came up here to do and swallows the entire bottle of pills.

/Well, never mind, I'll never find out  
'Cause Broadway I am here/

She collapses.

**Author's Note:**

> Song is from Smash, used to be a show on TV I would HIGHLY recommend watching it its great.  
> This is fiction!  
> (I have dealt with some pretty bad anxiety but that is the only truth to the story, the rest is just things my mind came up with)


End file.
